Thursday, April 14, 2011

Bob Cat Mama

I got to ride a pretty sweet Bob Cat zero turn mower this past weekend. Super fast and excellent for doing donuts in the dried leaves and grass. Go Carts are fun and all, but they aren't really thrilling unless you're out on the real earth and grass. But mowers like these...its like a go-cart with a purpose! Shoot, a destiny!! Don't get me started....I do love me some lawn equipment.

This is me chilling on some playground equipment while I waited my turn.
Sister is hogging the ride.
I thought the juxtaposition of the wooden "make-believe" car
next to that grass-devouring stunner might make for a humorous image.
Hope it was as good for you as it was for me.

I'd never used the walkie talkie style noise cancelling headphones during mowing before* and I did that today too, talking shit with my dad and using up all his gas mowing the yard for fun.

I need help.

I got a mean farmer's tan on my neck but it was so worth it.....

happy mowing...rr

*This is my subtle attempt at being snobbish because I have used the walkie talkie phones plenty of times but not actually during mowing as I did this day. I usually listen to just the AM/FM plus noise-cancelling headphones during mowing. In case anyone was losing sleep over this.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Zombie Mommie (Please imagine with hearts over the "i's"

Just a good Christian zombie housewife.
From the South.
Oh, that not good enough for ya?
In a Laura Ashley dress.

The freshly cut grass just made my forehead vein pop out with joy.
Work with me, here.

I don't know why I felt led to show off one of my amazing calf muscles in this picture.
(I have two of them)
But go on ahead and enjoy it while ya got it.
I'm not usually this much of an exhibitionist.

But in all seriousness, the vintage military boots make it.
This total tea party dress, that is.

Then I saw offspring. My young.

Yea, time for a quick game of chase. The paparazzi can wait.
(Er, I mean my husband holding a camera out of obligation.)

Yeah, I used "Er" what?!! I'm bringing it back, ya'll!!

They're gonna get the hug of their life!!
From "zombie mommie"! ("Ew....Scerrrwwwyyyy!!!")

Hubby said not to "scare the kids". Isn't that sad?
It's not like I'm a banker or Wall Street douchebag or something.

This is honest work.

I mean it's only corn syrup.
Generic corn syrup.

Want to try it?

This is actually worse parenting for him to be allowed to taste this concoction. Which is in most candy he would be allowed to eat at any given birthday party. So no, I won't be feeling bad that the kids saw "zombie mommie."

Always with the branding, huh mom? Guess I'll just have to lick it off, really?
Poor me.

Zombies are trendy cause even babies like them.

Starting to get dark out.

ruffles mean I'm girly!


Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Horror of a Desk

I gotta clean this messy desk!! Its just awful and this is only the tiny portion of it that I was willing to show you. The "cute" angle. The sucking-in-the-gut shot.

But the pencils really distract in a delightful way I think.

Horror+ Adorable = "Horror-able" . Better search that and see if its been done. If not, I'm a millionaire!

You ain't even ready.....but if you want to try you can see more of my "Love You 2" Pencils here or here. I'm really into the Killer Clown homage right now so you'll probably see some frightening buffoons in your parcel if you order somethin' from my shop right now cause I've been trying to include one in every order for the past couple months since I got a new supply of eyeballs and hair, etc. Well you won't get one of the really snazzy ones you're seeing here, but at least you might score one of my rejects with paint blobs in their hair, googly eyes that have dried slightly askew or ones with messed up hairdos. Sorry, just being real with you that it won't be the sexy one with a sequin bow that took me hours to doll up, cause you're mainly getting it for free cause I'm a whore for branding. Its like a biz card, alright?! Only hairy and with eyes that appear to watch you from all angles cause they are in fact googly with evil. Anyways, back to the wicked little knaves. I have a ton of colored pom poms so I've been snatching out all the red ones for their little red foam noses. Total creepazoids. Check them out...

The white sequin bowtie on this one paired with the neon orange hair just keeps me awake at night knowing it hasn't sold and any minute it could just rip my throat out.
Or something gross like that. Lead poisoning, maybe?? Even worse!

It looks like its just asleep....but wait. Don't get too close!

Oh now look what you've done. You're a goner.

Puttin on the Ritz! And the white face paint, the red nose and the blood.
Don't forget the blood.

He might look like Beaker from the Muppets but don't let it fool ya...he totally would make your skin into a leotard or a pencil case or whatever using his top of the line Brother sewing machine. Seriously, he would if he had the chance, so keep sharp! Oh wait, don't sharpen him. That would be way worse.

Just pure, silly evil. That foam nose is sniffing out all your fear and lets just say he's got your number. You know he does. It's cool, I'm scared of them too. That's why I do this, silly billy.

Luyu, rr

To see more undead pencils you can peep this post from a while back. Or this one from more recently.
Like I said, you ain't even ready...

Friday, April 1, 2011

I've been...poisoned!?

So yeah, it was poison ivy after all. I don't want to post Up-Close &Nasty pictures of my sores or my flaking-like-a-Grands-biscuit-(but without the grease)-scratched-up skin where I've just annihilated it in my sleep to have the pain overshadow the itch which is so much way worse. More way worse. Whatever. Worse.
So I am trying to catch up on a lot of posts I'd planned out and took pics for before I was so rudely interrupted (coughing in Mother Earth's direction then realizing stupidly that its all her direction.)

I'm trying not to hold it against Springtime that this happened to me, but it sucks!! I am so bad anyway about scratching when I have chiggers or mosquito bites or anything like that so this is just a million times worse for me.

One thing I did before this crap happened was make a yummy "pie-apple" out of some granny smiths and a pre-made dough. Cause I'm not trying to prove nothing here. It was so good. We kinda had already started picking at it when I took this picture. It got much worse.

A granny smith "pie-apple," made and later devoured by yours truly.
I'm an animal!

The Ove Glove in the pic keeps up my zombie housewife schtick.

Some cool and most definitely homemade skateboards I've scooped recently while thrifting.
Two boards, Two boys.
Looks like mommy's putting that "future skateboard fund" money
back into the "parent's date night" piggybank.
One of them says "Hunter" but we can knock the letters off easily enough.
Nobody will ever notice the difference between this and the "store bought" boards...right?

Some construction project my kids started then abandoned.
Like they say... like mommy like son.
(Sheesh, I gotta move these bricks now?)

oldies but goodies, but brown and too big.
(wonk wonk...

So I found these green beauts the other day and first off, they are my size (maybe a hair big but thats better than my current pair like them which are a bit small and thats always worse than too big). So yeah, they fit me and they are GREEN! Which is so rad cause its like the ultimate full circle moment. I guess I should explain further. First off, the green color is part of our branding for Fat Rolls(TM) so its always fun to get into green like this. Second, I personally have a theory that the style on the right pushed out the one on the left because they were on the scene around the same time and I guess one just became more popular than the other. But why give up on the bamboo soled one? Why let that awesome geta style dreamboat just go by the wayside? Not acceptable. So after searching for years and years for another pair like them I decided to make them my dang self and it was then another couple years or so before we really even took the first step to do that. They've waited so long, guys. So its finally their chance to get back on the scene and allow the world to rediscover this awesome version of a beloved fave. The geta style bamboo soled flip flop.
Is there any more perfect shoe? I think not.

Since the green pair was vintage and a bit dirty/used/worn,
I decided when I did this I'd use one of my used Fat Rolls (TM) to represent FRs so its a Fair Fight!!
Who cares really?? This is simply a cleverly styled photograph, no real fighting took place.

But if it had...

"Don't let the Saucer Magnolia fool ya.
My ass is from the projects!..."

Speaking of shoes...

My first real signage.

I got the rest of my shoes in from Thailand, only took an extra 10 days in Miami to get them brokered through but they're here! Here are some of the new styles I am going to be listing more of in the coming days on my Etsy shops here and here.

This one is more purple toned in person and you can't see it
but its a paisley textured velveteen.
Love this shoe or else.

Some kinda textured black velveteen.
Goth on Holiday.

Silver Lady with Pink Roots. Bad to the Bone.

You can barely see it here but this velveteen is a silvery gray but has deep pink undertones in the velveteen so that you can see them up close and with normal movement. Pretty sweet effect. Let the pink peek through my silver? That's just flat out tough.
Now I wish I had silver hair with pink roots!!

Purple Haze and Gold Maze.
The extreme and almost cliche luxury of satin against a
natural and exfoliatingly rough baby bamboo sole.

Something for the Aspiring Slacker-Reluctant Artist Hybrids or pretty much anyone else who has good taste and appreciates supreme comfort.
You checkin' this satin out? Against a rough bamboo weave?
Its downright aberrant. But amazing. Aberrant but Amazing. You heard it here first.

So I gotta run. Tried to cram too much in one.
Post, that is.

smell ya later...