Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Longtime listener, first-time caller

So I used to host a radio show in a previous lifetime, and I remember the first show I did like it was just yesterday. I couldn't fathom getting on the mic and just talking (!!?) to the world, even though basically it was student-operated and only transmitted around 100 miles in every direction at that time. I act like I was going on Oprah or something. There has always been a little of that shyness there, so I guess it remains now as I type this, knowing one day at least my family members might read it, much less my friends or better yet....all you beautiful strangers out there who might be up, sleepless, trying to bore yourself into a nod and somehow landed here due to some weird search terms you typed in, and then for whatever reason you stuck around to crawl into my brain for a minute.
I am going to try and not over-think this too much. In hindsight, I think the part that got me when we were trainees was hearing some statistic that every caller you got during your show represented something crazy like 100 people who were listening to you but not calling in. So you do the math. With the time slot I had...lets just say lots of lonely people and sometimes the occasional incarcerated soul would call me to make a request. So you can only imagine the nerves I had when you think of that type of statistical number multiplying. Lets just say I tried to fill every request I possibly could...without floating one of the seven deadly words out there into the airwaves. Not cool violatin' FCC and gettin' your station poopcanned, especially as a rookie with a crappy timeslot.
So here's to all the lonely people.
Try and get some rest tonight. And I'll try not to float too many turds out there into the 'sphere' while you're gone.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Coming back from the dead is the new black

  • Why does everything that is "cool and trendy" have to be compared with Black in such a way that makes it seem Black is now "out" or has somehow even slightly diminished in style? I think that's just silly. Black is and will always be "in". Even all-black/"goth" looks will always have huge popularity, but maybe on a less mainstream level (all the better right?!) I miss when wearing Black was absolutely synonymous with "Goth." That was fun. I also miss sportin' black (with red rose embroidery for special days) mary jane chinese shoes that were sold for $5 at Village Imports and a Cure or Smiths T-shirt for 10 bucks and this was a totally acceptable look to call yourself "goth" in rivets... no leather or even fishnet. Just nice wholesome fun 50/50 poly-cotton see-through after 20 washes Cure T-shirts and 100% cotton mary janes sold out of a brown box. I was goth. Try to say I wasn't!

  • It seems that acronyms and lingo are such lazy shortcuts because of all the stuff we have to read to ingest into our brains everyday, so I get the need for shortcuts....but lets come up with some new ways to say things whenever possible, so that in ten years some whatever it's called then "-er's" (blogger will be obsolete probably) can rant about that phrase or expression you so brilliantly come up with today.

  • Speaking of brains (was I?).....why is it that zombies supposedly eat brains to survive but they are still portrayed as leg-dragging morons? I'd like to put a new model out there for those of you who are... how to say...zombie-friendly (?). I believe we should promote the more intellectual, cultured, cosmopolitan, urbane image of zombies....some of us are even lovers of old country music and aspire to learn Bridge one day. Zombies are zombies too!!!

  • So....back to the term "trendy." From time to time I will have a moment where I realize that I cannot do something because it is "trendy." (This is the girl who desperately scours baby name books to insure her favorite baby names are in no variation or spelling listed in the books at all, much less the "popular names" categories...gasp!) Stop and really marinate on that for a second. That makes no friggin' sense, people.... although I am not so country that I don't get it. I am simply questioning the rationality and continued use of this utterly ridiculous word. The word "trendy" may be the only word I can think of off the dome that actually appears to have a connotation that directly contradicts it's denotation. What is "trendy" then after all? It should be called "untrendy". Because really if something is trendy, by the widely understood negative connotation, it is already doomed to be tossed into the trash within mere minutes, or worse....relegated to the even more silly and obsolete category "faddish" or unfathomably unhip "faddy" group. Oh, the humanity.
Some things to let sit on your brains for a second before quickly dusting them off for better things. Here's to better things!