Icy Hot Mess: A series of self revealing photographic dry heaves. (cause you gotta start somewhere)

Even a unicorn can't sit on her laurels anymore.

She's gotta have like 19 pieces of flair, some ornamental peacock feathers to infer swag,
a bowtie made of money, a tutu and a sheriff badge (or somethin'.)

The horn is just the bare minimum.

Even extinct and fantasy animals have to put their best hoof forward.
It's 2011 and things have changed. No more free rides.

Pinny

This is Pinny.
Pinny the Pinata.

Pinny is my most loyal fake mascot.

She never talks back, she's always smiling
and her hair only fades into a cuter and paler pink each year.

So she gets to stay.

What can I say?
It just needed that little somethin' extra.

And that somethin' was red paint made to look like blood.

Sorry, I just think these nursury animals looked creepy without it!!!

(Trust me on this one)

Got crafts needin' tendin'

Got clothes needin' mendin'

Got some vehicles needin' fixin'

And some stuff needin' listin'

Downstairs windows need some washin'


And some shoes need some *tossin'!


We've moved past this being a Traditional or even (dare I say) Contemporary "hot mess."
This one is ICY hot.


And it glides right on.

ttyl.
.rr

*not my shoes, yours. Specifically those old nasty flip flops you got!
Buy some of mine!!! (you know you're curious).

Rolls at Roo--- Part Two

Loretta Lynn's sign (cause that was it from my vantage point)

but man did the top of her hair look gooooood.

No pictures of Elson's show but I did break away from "work" to see Karen Elson play and also the great Loretta Lynn. In both instances I was so far away since I just rolled up (no pun intended) and so the best I got was this one picture at Loretta's show and I am sad to say I couldn't even get a picture with her in it. With my height being what it is, I was barely able to see the top of her coiffure but what I did see was mighty fine. Karen rocked it too, big surprise. Local girl makes good. (music)

But if you do want to see some stunning pictures of Ms.Elson please check out these rad pictures here by Heidi Jewell of Under The Guise, another local girl making good. (pics)

"What the f**k is a Fat Roll?!" -Lewis Black

Highlight of the whole week unquestionably was meeting Lewis Black and Kathleen Madigan. They were across the way and my sister motioned them over and I guess curiosity got the best of them with our signage so they strolled over with video camera person in tow. They were gracious enough to let us get our picture taken with them, which I will cherish forever even though I look caked with dirt because I was. I'm also wearing my favorite vintage shirt which is the t-shirt from the Cyndi Lauper concert I went to in 4th grade in 1987. ish. Kathleen commented on it and I told them the story of how Cyndi ended the show by climbing into a metal garbage can which was then lifted up into the air and over the crowd while she sang.

And that the Bangles opened for her.

What can I say?

They needed to know.

We met them on Thursday evening and it was our slowest sales day but that pretty much made me feel like a total player so I didn't give a crap that my pockets were full of lint. You can't pay for stuff like that. It was so incredible. Must add that quote to my requested engravings for my tombstone. Right next to the one Mike Judge gave me in the form of a pretty significant compliment when he told me I was "funnier than average." That was about a year or more ago and it still makes me want to die* just so my family can commence with the chiseling and I can face all my friends out. Yeah, I'll be laughing all the way to the bank. The big bank in the sky.

ttyl

xoxo, c

*Painlessly and with a lot of glory, please.

* Just kidding, please disregard this. I was trying to be shocking and funny and it doesn't reflect my true state of mind regarding my EOL plans. In other words, I don't want to die just so I can face out my friends by having a tricked out tombstone.

I've been...poisoned!?

So yeah, it was poison ivy after all. I don't want to post Up-Close &Nasty pictures of my sores or my flaking-like-a-Grands-biscuit-(but without the grease)-scratched-up skin where I've just annihilated it in my sleep to have the pain overshadow the itch which is so much way worse. More way worse. Whatever. Worse.
So I am trying to catch up on a lot of posts I'd planned out and took pics for before I was so rudely interrupted (coughing in Mother Earth's direction then realizing stupidly that its all her direction.)

I'm trying not to hold it against Springtime that this happened to me, but it sucks!! I am so bad anyway about scratching when I have chiggers or mosquito bites or anything like that so this is just a million times worse for me.


One thing I did before this crap happened was make a yummy "pie-apple" out of some granny smiths and a pre-made dough. Cause I'm not trying to prove nothing here. It was so good. We kinda had already started picking at it when I took this picture. It got much worse.

A granny smith "pie-apple," made and later devoured by yours truly.
I'm an animal!

The Ove Glove in the pic keeps up my zombie housewife schtick.

Some cool and most definitely homemade skateboards I've scooped recently while thrifting.
Two boards, Two boys.
Looks like mommy's putting that "future skateboard fund" money
back into the "parent's date night" piggybank.
One of them says "Hunter" but we can knock the letters off easily enough.
Nobody will ever notice the difference between this and the "store bought" boards...right?

Some construction project my kids started then abandoned.
Like they say... like mommy like son.
(Sheesh, I gotta move these bricks now?)




oldies but goodies, but brown and too big.
(wonk wonk...)

So I found these green beauts the other day and first off, they are my size (maybe a hair big but thats better than my current pair like them which are a bit small and thats always worse than too big). So yeah, they fit me and they are GREEN! Which is so rad cause its like the ultimate full circle moment. I guess I should explain further. First off, the green color is part of our branding for Fat Rolls(TM) so its always fun to get into green like this. Second, I personally have a theory that the style on the right pushed out the one on the left because they were on the scene around the same time and I guess one just became more popular than the other. But why give up on the bamboo soled one? Why let that awesome geta style dreamboat just go by the wayside? Not acceptable. So after searching for years and years for another pair like them I decided to make them my dang self and it was then another couple years or so before we really even took the first step to do that. They've waited so long, guys. So its finally their chance to get back on the scene and allow the world to rediscover this awesome version of a beloved fave. The geta style bamboo soled flip flop.
Is there any more perfect shoe? I think not.

Since the green pair was vintage and a bit dirty/used/worn,
I decided when I did this I'd use one of my used Fat Rolls (TM) to represent FRs so its a Fair Fight!!
Who cares really?? This is simply a cleverly styled photograph, no real fighting took place.

But if it had...

"Don't let the Saucer Magnolia fool ya.
My ass is from the projects!..."

Speaking of shoes...

My first real signage.
Ballin'!

I got the rest of my shoes in from Thailand, only took an extra 10 days in Miami to get them brokered through but they're here! Here are some of the new styles I am going to be listing more of in the coming days on my Etsy shops here and here.

This one is more purple toned in person and you can't see it
but its a paisley textured velveteen.
Love this shoe or else.


Some kinda textured black velveteen.
Goth on Holiday.



Silver Lady with Pink Roots. Bad to the Bone.

You can barely see it here but this velveteen is a silvery gray but has deep pink undertones in the velveteen so that you can see them up close and with normal movement. Pretty sweet effect. Let the pink peek through my silver? That's just flat out tough.
Now I wish I had silver hair with pink roots!!

Purple Haze and Gold Maze.
The extreme and almost cliche luxury of satin against a
natural and exfoliatingly rough baby bamboo sole.

Something for the Aspiring Slacker-Reluctant Artist Hybrids or pretty much anyone else who has good taste and appreciates supreme comfort.
You checkin' this satin out? Against a rough bamboo weave?
Its downright aberrant. But amazing. Aberrant but Amazing. You heard it here first.

So I gotta run. Tried to cram too much in one.
Post, that is.



smell ya later...
rr

The Launch of a Flop

Best Sales Day Ever in Fat Rolls History!

Thanks to everyone who came out to check out my Fat Rolls at the 2nd Annual "Making Merry in Berry Hill". I think I heard someone say last year was their first year but if I'm wrong please send up a flair or something and let me know. It was a blast!

I gotcha Fat Rolls for sale!! Fat Rolls for sale right here!!

How appropriate to have "the earth's" coolest shoe being launched in the most low budget grassroots, literally on-the-grass its so grassroots way possible in the history of the land. Ya gotta start somewhere! Here, its right here at what I call "the foot's eye level", so that potential customers could walk right into them as they glide down the sidewalk.

Sneaky sneaky shoe salesperson. tsk tsk tsk....

Fat Rolls Grass Launch

Special pricing for local early adopters, plus the promise of free shipping if they ordered online.

It was our best sales day every and then we ended up beating it the next day with a large order from some friends who got some Christmas shopping knocked out in one fell swoop by shopping straight out of my husband's car when he visited to watch some football and it was still filled to the brim with shoes leftover from Saturday. Thanks E and J.

You made my day/week/month/year....

Stay tuned cause we're totally launching a flop and its definitely gonna grow on you.

Thanks to Heidi from Under The Guise for capturing the day for me. All of these pictures are by Heidi which was awesome since I totally forgot my camera in all the excitement! And a table so thanks to my bro for bringing that at the last minute earlier on Saturday!

(scatterbrained much?)

Thanks errrybody for a rad grass launch! See ya next year in Berry Hill.

Til then, check them out here

We are live!

Presenting...

My shoes are in and they are just fantastic, if I do say so myself. I love the iconically fat tops and the cool and smooth baby bamboo soles. I relish the soft foam that forms to your feet. I simply adore the fabrics picked out by the anonymous but beloved Saint of Los Angeles. And lastly, I just can't get enough of the soft feel of the velveteen just sitting on the tops of my feet. I could go on for days. Well, not really cause I have real responsibilities.. and mouths to feed and all that mess but you get me, right? Days.

Instead I will just show you a couple pictures of the work done so far and you can see for yourself how this lil' brand is comin' along.

Here's one of my last pseudo-protos I made on my own before we found a factory to take a chance on us.This is not the original shoe that Fat Rolls was designed after. (another post for another day, a post you may not get to actually see because its just. too. personal.)

This one's made out a stuffed cotton blend top and the bottom was made from a woven natural fiber or straw platemat, which clearly did not hold up and wasn't intended to. The choice of print is my humble homage to the classic and iconic checkerboard Vans slip on, cause you guys must know I am all about parody. (If you didn't know, well, now ya know). After lusting after (guys in) them as a pre-"tween" in the mid to late 80s, (the term "tween" was not used back then so we were a bit cooler I guess) I scrambled to buy the re-issue of it when I even thought it was over-saturated back in '95, too dumb to predict the virtual institution it has become as of today. God bless Vans and their branding mojo. Sheesh. But yeah, erryone loves a checkerboard print, so it was fine for a proto that didn't even make it past the testing phase.

It was just to give the flavor of the shoe, the shape, the feeling.

Cheesy, I know. But this is the only story I got so there you have it.

(My son clearly didn' t like wearing it, but what does he know?

He was like 1 year old at the time. He's totally changed his mind about them now that he's hit the ripe age of 3.)

What an adorable print. This little kitschy and colorful floral looks super cute when its fresh and new like this pair.

And strangely it also looks endearingly "vintage" and by the way, LEGIT as bleep(!) when they are dirty and worn, like my first sample pair of Fat Rolls is starting to look like since I've deliberately trashed them all year all in the name of product testing, doing wee fit runs in them for short intervals, completely submerging them in creeks and just generally running them into the ground. Yes, I am part of that secret cult of people known only as "Quality Control" and I do now consider "flip flop tester" as part of my skill set currently. Actually its been elevated to the level of a core competency at this point and nothing less.

I know, I know...I have such a bitchin' job, don't I? I do get it. I am to be hated, truly, deeply, and madly.

And this is my first attempt at a display case for my yummy treats (for feets, but still, work with me here, okay...) . I figured since the factory wrapped them all anyway, why not play off the clear plastic wrap and the silly brand name to give the illusion that its your tummy that is about to get the treat, but instead its your feet! (well, only if your feet are between a size 3/4 and a size 11. Everyone else has to wait til Gen 2 when maybe we can get more size offerings arranged. We're not thousandaires yet! Hold your horses already.)

Special thanks to my mom, Julia, my favorite artist and my coolest (and only) outside investor. (my previous version of myself is my primary investor, seeing as how I cashed in all of her retirement and savings from over a decade of non bad-a$$ work in order to pay for this seemingly odd venture. Stupid, right? We will see. But yeah, probably...) Anyhoo, also she scooped up the display case for me and it turned out to work perfect for my shoes, so thanks mom!! (I'll list some boots for you this weekend I promise.)

Check out her shop... http://www.etsy.com/shop/GrannysBootery

It is boot season after all! And Granny's got some good ones!

And of course my new shop for my newest babies... http://www.etsy.com/shop/FatRolls

I will be updating lots of the listings to show pictures of human beings actually wearing these rad flip flops. (Besides me and my immediate family and some friends). I consider them year round flip flops so please refrain from trying to call me out for launching a sandal at the end of summer and start of fall. I meant to do that. Really, I totally would never do something so unimaginative as to try to sell a flip flop in the spring and summer. I mean, for crap's sake, really?! How passe. Do other companies even do that anymore? This is too easy...

The birth of a flip flop mogul. There, I said it.

And of course I'm still here too http://www.etsy.com/shop/ReanimatedRags , so keep checking me out! And check out my Fat Rolls!